What a busy furlough it was! I know furlough is an old fashioned term in today’s missions parlance, where home assignment is currently preferred. Nevertheless, after having lived and worked and raised a family in Kenya for 45 years, we have a difficult time using the term home assignment when referring to going to the U.S. In a sense, it is true that both places are home – one, our home of origin, where some family still lives, and the other, our current and home of many years, where we raised our family, and where 2 of our 3 children still live with their families. I have written another blog on that earlier titled Home is Where the Heart is. That is another topic.
We were sweltering in the tiny church sanctuary, Chip in a black wool suit and I in a nice outfit, made of a material I realized too late, was not suitable for humid summer temperatures in the U.S. east coast! I sat with the audience, praying for a breath of air and wishing the ceremony would begin. Chip was on the stage, as he was to give the brief message. This was Joshua’s and Nicole’s wedding in July. Don’t get me wrong, July’s a great month…my birthday, Joshua’s birthday, the U.S.’s birthday, and (now) our granddaughter’s birthday…but that day was HOT and I could feel tiny rivers of perspiration trickling down my back. At last, the wedding began, and I forgot my discomfort, taken up with the beautiful bride coming slowly down the aisle to the strains of one of my favorite tunes, the groom, waiting in front, gazing at her with obvious joy, pride, and love, the audience standing in admiration and honor. The songs were sung, the vows made, the message given – a ceremony so short, for something that lasts a lifetime. The air in the basement where the reception was held was stifling, but the celebration joyous, as family and friends congratulated, visited with loved ones not seen often, and gifted the new couple both with presents and blessings. Then all too soon, they were on their way. Josh was, and still is our son, but now he belongs to another and has his own family. What a strange feeling that was then, as we first experienced it. And yet we would not have had it any other way.
This particular furlough, we were residing in Pensacola, Florida, where I had just completed my Bachelor of Psychology and was eagerly anticipating graduation. At the same time, our firstborn son, Joshua was completing his Bachelor of Education. I don’t know why, but the concept of my son and I graduating at the same time was quite exciting to me. I had no doubt that Josh would complete his degree, but there certainly was a time when I had begun to doubt I would ever be able to finish. I had graduated from high school in 1974 and married in 1976, mid-way through a bachelor’s degree, with the understanding that I would eventually finish. Thirty years and 3 children later, I had begun to wonder if this was just a dream I would never realize. If it wasn’t for a very supportive husband, I’m not sure I would have gone back to complete this dream. But we persevered, and then I found myself in the huge gymnasium with hundreds of other graduands, peering eagerly into the audience to spot my husband in his bright blue blazer and tie (he had deliberately worn it so that I could spot him easily), and sure enough I did! I love joking that it only took me 32 years to get my bachelor’s degree. For one thing, it makes a funny joke, but it also encourages others who have had to put a dream on hold, and it encourages older people (especially women to tend to feel the dream is impossible with kids and a home to look after) that one is never too old to further their education. It could be a tad awkward being the ‘elderly’ student in class, but it also gave me a certain rapport with instructors, not being “just a kid”, and I took a certain amount of pride in pursuing my dream, in spite of my age.
Weeks later, Chip and I were sitting in a wet grassy field, huddling under an inadequate umbrella, with water dripping down our backs, waiting to witness our eldest son’s graduation from Messiah College. The sun mercifully came out as the graduands filed over to their places and the ceremony began. My mother’s heart swelled with pride. Joshua’s wife, Nicole, was also graduating and we were so pleased with them both. We, like I’m sure every parent there, felt like our son and daughter-in-law, were the most impressive and distinctive graduands (although Nicole missed the ceremony as she was unwell). We wanted to introduce Joshua to everyone there; we were so proud. We had managed to take in this ceremony mid-travels in our itineration, so unfortunately, we had to leave after a quick lunch with our son.
That was certainly a very full U.S. trip that furlough of 2005-06, many good memories to treasure and bring up from time to time and lessons learned from the school of life. Though I have two degrees now and certainly do not intend to pursue any more at 69 years (I’m not sure I could summon the energy at this stage), but I am still enrolled in this school of life – still learning, still dreaming, still pursuing goals, while cherishing those of the past.
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