Reflections, post turn over…
Yes, we’re excited about the possibilities ahead of Ukarimu Ministries under this new leadership, who bring fresh ideas, energy, and relevant understanding of the context within which Ukarimu seeks to minister. It is all good and we are both happy with the way things have been working out. We thank God for going before us and for bringing the right people on board in His own time and way – in fact in such a way that we could never doubt that these are the people He has chosen.
So, why do I also feel melancholy? In our last Reality Check – Mid Journey session, Chip and I facilitated a section on Planning for Retirement – Is it too soon? See, we had waited far too long to plan and prepare for our own eventual retirement, not even giving it a thought until we were 50.
Yes, we are aware that there is a prevalent concept that people in ministry don’t/should not retire. And in a sense, we also hold to the concept that we all should be open to and involved in ministry of some sort up to the day we leave this earth. However, just as we do not believe in family dynasties in ministry, we also do not believe any particular ministry should be held onto tightly by its founders til the day they die. There’s a saying that a language that is not changing, is dying. The same is true for a ministry. The world we live in is constantly changing, both in positive and negative ways. If a ministry is not changing too, it will eventually cease to be relevant in this changing world. No, we are not to become like the world, but often ministries need to change modes and methods in order to continue to effectively reach out to the world. And, much as I hate to admit it, I can no longer relate to the younger generation as well as I used to.
Here’s an illustration. Chip and I initially began looking for someone to take over the student ministry arm of Ukarimu Ministries because 1) the work was getting to be too much for one couple to handle both student and marriage ministry, and 2) we were looking ahead to eventual retirement and realized we were unlikely to find someone qualified to take on both arms of ministry, so we realized we would need to parcel out the work to two different leaders. But, as we worked with Ian and Stella in student ministry, it became increasingly clear that Chip and I were relating less well with the students as time moved on. For one thing, we couldn’t physically hear much of what was being said in the fellowship meetings, and additionally, the students tend to use a slang version of Swahili that changes from year to year, and we literally could not keep up with the ever-changing language! We found ourselves increasingly lost and missing too much. We were fast becoming beloved figure heads. New leadership was needed.
So, again, why the melancholy? Two things strike me. In the research for that session of Reality Check dealing with planning for retirement, I discovered something…emotional preparation is also necessary for a smooth transition. We had been very careful to set in motion the transition in ministry early enough and with as careful planning as we knew how but had failed to start our own personal preparations early enough and had left emotional preparation out altogether! In my younger days, I had always thought of retirement as a cessation of formal work and a chance to get to do those things you never had time for before. It never dawned on me that it involved so much more! So, we’ve been on a crash course of personal preparation – financial, occupational (what are we going to do to keep busy?), social (we don’t know anybody in our new location!), spiritual (where are we going to attend church? We hear it’s a spiritual desert there!), and emotional. I never realized I would feel both excited and scared, happy and sad, sure and uncertain, all at the same time! This retirement thing is not for cowards!
I am realizing that part of the melancholy stems from the fact that for 21 years, my whole identity has been wrapped around this ministry – as a counselor, a facilitator, director, and founder. Now, suddenly, others are directors, facilitators, and counselors and I’m going to a place where I know no one and no one knows me (OK, we have met one lady down the road from our new home being built, and we’re on friendly terms). Will I be able to resume counseling? Will we be invited to guest facilitate at Ukarimu courses and seminars? Will we even like the changes we see come about? Will Ukarimu Ministries survive our departure? How will we ever find a church where we feel we can both receive and give? How will we find friends – especially friends who hold the same values and interests as us? All these questions and uncertainties chase each other in my mind and contribute to the melancholy. I realize that there’s no way we could have completely avoided the conflicting emotions that we’re both experiencing, but a bit of preparation certainly helps, and still, better late than never.
They say a problem identified is half solved. I suspect that’s quite true. So, as we face eventual retirement, coming closer much quicker than I was prepared for, we make up our minds to anticipate the exciting, to celebrate the happy, face and challenge the scary, embrace reality, plan and pray about the uncertainties that lie ahead. We will never be able to plan perfectly for the future because being mortal, we do not know the future completely. Only God knows, and I trust in His loving care to walk us through the unknown – all in His good time and way.
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