That First Love

When we think of first love, we tend to think in romantic terms. However, this story is not about that. This is about how God sometimes leads us through our deep interests – those things that ‘float our boat’ or that rock our world. Josh was well ensconced in college and now it was Sam’s turn to leave the nest. Sam was always very intelligent and made above average grades all through school. We always felt, however, that he never reached his potential in those grades. One could easily tell just by interacting with him that he was capable of more. I so clearly recall a conversation on this topic with him once in high school, where he replied with “Mom, there is more to life than academics, than getting good grades”. How does one argue with that? And certainly, if there was anything happening in school, he was in the thick of it…except for sports. He was not the athletic type. In fact, he had his fingers in so many pies, that he rarely came home unless school was closed and students sent home. If we wanted to see our son, we had to go to RVA (Rift Valley Academy) and catch visits with him between his many activities. But his first love was drama!

This love affair began well before high school. In his junior high years, his brother, Josh, dragged Sam practically kicking and screaming into a part in the school play, Diary of Anne Frank. They badly needed someone to play Peter, Anne’s boyfriend. Josh was playing Anne’s father, and he kept insisting Sam would be perfect for the part of Peter. Sam insisted otherwise, but on possibly the only occasion in his life in which he deferred to his elder brother, he finally agreed to audition for the part. The rest is history. Sam fell in love with drama and never looked back. Sam, in his minor role in the play, quickly outshone his brother’s major part. In high school, he was in every performance. In Hello Dolly, he played a waiter, with no spoken lines, but stole the show with his facial expressions and antics on stage. He was a natural…and he loved it. I always found it odd, because on stage he seemed able to let go of all his inhibitions and to play any part. Yet in real life, he was this quiet, reserved guy. We were proud of our son and the talent God had given him and only missed one performance that I can recall, when we were out of the country.

But there was one problem with this love in Sam’s life. He knew very well that making a career out of acting is extremely difficult and very few really make it work as a living. So, in light of this, he decided to major in political science in university because he felt it could be the next best thing, having had an interesting course in school on current world events. But, after a year, we got a call from Sam in the U.S. (Sam hardly initiated calls, so we knew this was serious). After the initial chit chat, came the real reason for the call. “Mom, I need to change my major. Political Science isn’t what I thought it would be and to be honest, I really want to major in drama”. He wanted to return to his first love. Before I could respond, he launched on an obviously well-researched and planned speech on how he knows theater is a difficult career, but he also loves working with youth, so he figured he could major in theater education, and then proceeded to list all the schools which offered this major. He had prepared well! I had to admit I was impressed. All the time he was talking, I kept remembering his talent, our pride in it, and how much he loved drama. In the end, I said something along the lines of, “Sam, God has obviously given you a talent in acting and if this is what you really love, and He has put this in you, then He will take care of seeing that you can support yourself. Go back to your first love!” And he did. Funnily enough, after graduating from university, marrying another great love in his life, Hanna, and freelancing a few years in website development, he wound up returning to RVA to direct all their drama performances (while teaching classes and helping with IT on the side). God used this first love in Sam’s life to lead him back to Kenya, where today he and Hanna work closely with young people, guiding, advising, influencing, mentoring, and in many cases acting as substitute parents, where parents cannot be present. We do not attend many performances at RVA anymore. After all, Sam is no longer the star of the show. But we are still very proud of him, as he serves as academic counselor for the high school and Hanna as student life lead of the middle and high school.

What is your first love? Have you left it? Do you regret it? In Revelation 2: 4-5, the Ephesian church was chastised by Jesus for having left their first love and admonished to return to it. The reasons for leaving our first love can be many – others disapprove; we feel it is foolish or silly or even impractical; we can’t afford it; or just life’s circumstances interfere. Sometimes, we can’t do much about it and cannot go back to that which we love. But sometimes we are just making excuses. One of my great loves is writing. I believe God has given me a modest ability in this area. I find it enjoyable, and it restores my soul. But I am also very busy. It is hard to find time to sit and write. I need quiet to write and that’s not always available. Sometimes there’s writer’s block to deal with. Sometimes, it’s tempting to just not bother. But then I remember Sam and his determination. Was it worth it for him? I think so. I think he would agree. I think it is good for us to make the opportunity from time to time to stop and assess what first loves we may have left by the roadside. Have we made our lives less rich because of this abandonment? If so, maybe it is time we go back and pick it up again. Go back to that God-given first love and see where it will lead us. God, sometimes, leads through these first loves. Let’s see where He may lead.